Gut Check - The Chronicles

From: Fred Malloy
To: "jonathanpaine@yahoo.com" <jonathanpaine@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wed, January 19, 2011 3:30:26 PM
Subject: Paine, you want to row across the atlantic??

The above email header is how I came to learn about ocean rowing for the first time, 12 days before I was actually to set out on a 2598 mile journey across the North Atlantic in a 40 foot ocean rowing vessel.

Paine, you want to row across the atlantic??

 Do I want to row across the Atlantic?!... This question had never entered my consciousness before in my entire life, ever. I am now one of only 37 Americans in history to have ever rowed across an ocean. 
Certain decisions, at important junctures in our lives, reveal a moment of truth, a test of character, whereby, if we are lucky, we learn about ourselves and who we really are. Call it a 'gut check' if you will.

Fred's email evoked that very response, my own personal gut check.  It wasn't a matter of whether I wanted to row across the Atlantic as much as I knew I was facing a decision which would inevitably alter the course of my life.  Truth be told, as soon as I read the subject line my being was crackling with intense awareness, an adrenaline dump that signaled I was on the verge of one of those big decisions, and the elicited response, fight or flight.  What happens if I commrit, or worse, what happens if I don't.  Pointless discussion however, I already knew I was going to row across the Atlantic.

Courage, I am told, is not the lack of fear, rather it is acting in spite of it.

I had all the excuse I needed to let it slip away.  I was after all, currently enrolled in a yachting course to qualify me as a boat skipper in international waters.  The first half of the course had just drawn to a close and the on-the-water practical application of the theory we had learned to begin the following day. Perfect.  No action needed.

Thanks Fred,

Would love to but alas I am right in the middle of my YachtMaster course, theory finished today and practical starts on Friday - ends Tuesday then 2 days of exams.  Keep your eyes out though. Finishing spot would have me right back here in the Caribbean...

I'll think about it but not likely.  Would delay my course by 30 days but...

Cheers,

'Not likely...'!? - whatever

And for those of you who know "Never say die Malloy"

"Hey ping those Atlantic rowers--maybe they get delayed again! Or maybe if you tell them your resume they'll make you an offer you can't refuse!"


Sometimes we need a gentle, or firm, shove to get us rolling in the direction we know we should be heading. After some thought and the decision to go for it I drafted a summary of my qualifications in the following email, a summary of who I am as a rower, and also in some sense who I am as a person, often identifying myself as member of that rare breed, Rowers.


My email:

"I just received the below email regarding your record Atlantic Row Crossing Attempt and I would loooove to join you!!!!!

Here is why I am qualified for this challenge:

1) Dartmouth Heavyweight Crew 1992 - Great Eight (Voted Top US Men's Collegiate Heavyweight Crew); #1 Eastern Sprints, #1 IRAs, #2 (by 2") Nationals

2) Rowed in Henley Royal Regatta 1992

3) Rowed in 4s at Belmont Hill School (high school 1986-1989)

4) Silver Medal - Men's Alumni 8 event - Head of the Charles Regatta 2010 (3 months ago).

Our 1992 "Great 8" boat (same 8 rowers + cox + coach) committed over a year ago to train for the 2010 Head of the Charles. As a result we (18 years later) matched our college rowing weights and exceeded our college rowing fitness. The week following the Head I pulled a 8606m 30 min piece (1:44.5 splits). I am fit.

5) Earlier in the year I pulled a half marathon (1h21min54 sec)

6) Rowed 624,000 meters to date in the past year (logged on concept II website). Not all pieces logged so perhaps 20-30% more.

7) Participated in Guinness Book World Records "Million Meter Erg" record while at Dartmouth still stands I believe.

8) I move boats well - I am 6'7" tall, 215lbs, and built for rowing.

9) I have been on the water my whole life - sunfish, sailfish, whitewater rafting guide, kayak, windsurfer, USCG 50 ton inspected passenger vessel (captain's) license, Registered Maine Guide (Boating, Kayaking, Recreational)

10) Wilderness First Aid certified (Spring 2010)

11) STCW '95 certified - January 2011 - Standards of Training, Certification and Watchkeeping. Modules in Firefighting, Personal Survival Techniques (Liferaft deployment), First Aid, Personal and Social Responsibility).

12) Love and respect for the Ocean

13) Non-drinker/non-smoker

14) I could use a new challenge to push my personal limitations in a group dynamic.

Dec 26th 2009 I fractured my pelvis in a car acident - I trained for and participated in my first sprint triathlon in June 2010 and competed in the Head of the Charles 2010 (Silver Medal) in better shape at 39 years old than in college.

15) To row across the Atlantic is an epic and once in a lifetime opportunity!!!! A worthy lifetime endeavor and I can't think of anything I'd rather do

16) I have the time and inclination

17) I have been on land for over a month now and am crawling out of my skin for an opportunity to get back on the high seas

18) Blue Water experience - yacht delivery from Maine to Bermuda Nov 2010 - 725 nm, Bermuda to Nevis Island (St Kitts/Nevis) 925 nm.

19) I was made and born for a challenge like this

20) I seek to push limits and strive to be out of my comfort zone - this concept scares the bejeezus out of me, but is equally compelling.

They accepted, and I committed.

I arranged with my instructor to delay completion of the course, booked a flight for the following evening and found myself arriving in The Canary Islands Saturday afternoon for a Sunday morning departure.

I found myself on location and preparing for an ocean crossing in a matter of days.



I am now back in Antigua, just over a month after completing the cross Atlantic rowing challenge and more or less fully recovered.  I learned some important lessons and made some decisions about my life's direction on that row.  I will be sharing these with you in the coming weeks.

In the meantime I have finally finished my Yacht Master course and am now a licensed MCA/RYA (British/international qualification) Yacht Master!!!

I will be joining the ketch Bequia on Thursday for a 10 day delivery via Bermuda to Newport RI.  I may return to Antigua for another yacht delivery or just head north to Maine.  Miss the family and looking forward to catching up with friends too.

More to come.

Cheers.

Jonathan